my life

The gifts and the miracles I’ve experienced in sobriety are never ending. My life was an endless revolving door around getting and selling and using drugs. I didn’t look at friends as friends and family as family, everything and anything was just means to get more drugs. I can’t even remember what it was like to use to get high, I only remember using like it was life or death because if I didn’t get anything I’d feel like I was going to die, and without drugs why would I even want to live. My thoughts were so twisted and my lifestyle was inhuman. The only way I have to opportunity to realize how twisted my lifestyle was and acknowledge how miserably I was living was with a clear mind that i was able to develop in treatment. People who never gotten clean, like me, don’t realize how in just a few days off drugs, you start thinking more clearly. It takes a little while for your body to feel 100% but waking up feeling somewhat normal every morning – was still way better then waking up physically dependent on a drug. I actually was developing a normal sleeping pattern and I actually began to eat regularly. I felt myself getting better and my thoughts became more clear everyday. Like I said, all the miracles and gifts I’ve developed clean are something I would have never imagined. But the biggest miracle of my life was finding my way into treatment and having the opportunity to begin a new life and start over. 

by amber nagy

31.05.2017